Tapestry Funerals
A celebration of the life of
Donald Dean Nicholson Macleod
 
1945-2022
 

 
Service at Harwood Park Crematorium followed by a gathering at The Shamrock Club, Welwyn Garden City.

Music to enter: Flower of Scotland, The Lone Piper, The Munros & David Methven
 
Welcome 
 
Please be seated.
 
Thank you for coming to Harwood Park Crematorium to honour the life of Donald Macleod. It is a privilege to be part of his ceremony today.
 
Larger than life, warm-hearted and fair, Donald was a long-standing resident of Welwyn Garden City and a proud husband, father, grandfather and great-grandfather. He will be a great loss to you all, but particularly to his brother, Robert, sisters, Ann and Cathy, his wife Wendy, sons, Derek and Ken, and to Dean, whom he brought up as his own. Our thoughts and best wishes lie with you all today.  Although we are saying goodbye, the tone of this service is intended to be positive - a celebration of everything you valued about Don - so please, do allow yourselves to smile from time to time. 
 
Following this introduction, Derek will give a tribute on behalf of the family and, to honour Don’s love of Scotland, we will hear a couple of verses by Robert Burns. There will be a moment for private reflection before the committal, and we will close with words about Don’s legacy. The music you entered to, and the pieces you will hear at the committal and as we leave, pay homage to Don’s heritage and his great love for all things associated with The Highlands.
 
Don was born and raised in Dingwall, just north of Inverness, but loved visiting his grandparents’ croft in Helmsdale, where he would help with the sheep and take the horses down to the river.  He grew up to become a skilled footballer, playing for Dingwall Thistle Football Club and then Clachnacuddin in the Highland League. Unfortunately, he suffered injury which meant he had to retire from playing, but he pursued his love for the game by switching to refereeing and of course as a loyal Rangers and Liverpool fan.
 
As a young man, Don moved south, initially becoming an apprentice plumber and then joining the police. He married Caroline and they had their three boys, Derek, Ken and Scott, moving from Redbourn to Harpenden before settling in Welwyn Garden City in the early 70s. 
 
Don parted company with Caroline, but in the 80s he met Wendy and they went on to spend 34 years together. Wendy told me that initially no-one thought they would last 6 months, but they proved the world wrong and perhaps, through being his support and foundation, Wendy allowed Don to be the rock he was for everyone else.  She made me smile when she recounted the time Don took off to America with his mates for three weeks to watch the football. Wendy was left to hold the fort at home and, for her troubles, Don brought home a nightdress that was a couple of sizes too small and a bottle of aftershave that he had mistaken for perfume! Apparently, she was cheerfully informed, ‘it’s the thought that counts Wendy!’ I’m not sure I would have taken that quite so well but, joking apart, Don and Wendy didn’t need gifts and materialist things to hold them together.  In the words of a quote by T. L. Nash which Wendy found, ‘I chose you as the one person with whom I wanted to spend the rest of my life because I fell in love with the qualities you possess. It’s never been about what you can give me, but rather what you bring to my life - happiness, laughter, friendship and a reason to look to tomorrow.’  
 
When I chatted to the family about their memories of Don, a theme that came up repeatedly was Don’s incredible sense of hospitality - whether showing friends and family around the Scottish Highlands, having people over to their home in Welwyn Garden City for New Year (where they were sometimes treated to a somewhat special rendition of  ‘Donald, Where’s Your Trousers’ accompanied by the spoons!),  or having people stay at their second home in Turkey where he celebrated his wedding to Wendy.  Don was someone who knew how to enjoy life, and he ensured everyone around him had a good time too. Food and drink were an integral part of these get-togethers - Don was by all accounts a fine cook and appreciated his brandy and whisky! 
 
It is clear why Don was such a well-respectedpoliceman and referee for so many years: he had a keen sense of justice and fairness but was also compassionate - people knew that he would look out for them. As Derek said, you knew at the end of the day that he had your back and that in itself is priceless.    
 
He also had a way with animals. As a skilled police dog handler for many years, the dogs knew where they stood and that he would be firm but fair with them too! Possibly a little of that firmness went out the window when he retired and replaced his Alsatians with slightly smaller lap dogs, but he engendered love and loyalty in them all the same, and one of the latest additions to the family, Harvey, was by his side right to the very end.
 
Don wasn’t one to make a fuss about his own suffering - both back in the 80s when he was stabbed while on duty, and latterly as he fought cancer, he made light of his troubles and sought to reassure those around him that he was Ok.  This positive approach, and his willingness to give to both his family and community, are well reflected in the words of the poem ‘Not how did he die but how did he live’.
 
Not how did he die, but how did he live?
 
Not how did he die, but how did he live?
Not what did he gain, but what did he give?
These are the units to measure the worth
Of a man as a man, regardless of birth.
Not what was his church, nor what was his creed?
But had he befriended those really in need?
Was he ever ready, with word of good cheer,
To bring back a smile, to banish a tear?
Not what did the sketch in the newspaper say,
But how many were sorry when he passed away?
 
 
Eulogy
 
Derek will now deliver a tribute on behalf of the family.
 
A tribute to Don 
 
Hello to you all, I’m Derek, Don’s eldest son. I want to thank you all for coming today. Don would have loved to have seen so many friends and family, and no doubt shared a dram or two with you all.
It goes without saying that Don loved, and was loved and I know just how much his family are proud of the person he was, the incredible service he gave to his community as a police officer and the way he lived his life.
Dad was a proud Scotsman, a proud highlander, and his moving away from his highland home only strengthened that love over the years. He would often return, taking us for our childhood holidays and over the years some friends too. His family would visit us, especially during the England Scotland games, providing many a happy memory. They added to the stories dad loved to tell, and sometimes stretched a bit too, especially if it got him off the hook or painted him in a favourable light. Like the year his father visited on another Scottish pilgrimage and they claimed they had their car stolen by charitable Scottish fans, filling the car up with McEwan’s export as a thanks. I found out years later that actually it was their overindulgence that caused them to forget where they had parked the car.
Looking around the faces gathered here today, many would have come across him as a ref with his unique patrolling of the halfway line. Some may have come across him in his dog handling days in the police force. Indeed, going through dads’ handbooks from 1971 to 1988 I can tell you there are a few names and stories in there.  Of course my lips are sealed but I’ll happily recall if you choose to ask later. Whichever uniform you remember Don in, it was just a precursor to sharing “the Crack” as he was very much a social man. 
Certainly, dad seemed a pillar of strength to us as young boys, and indeed he often displayed that strength and courage during his police days, none more so on boxing day 1985 when he was stabbed whilst making an arrest, something he later received a commendation for.  I won't forget seeing him in the hospital bay - I was terrified of what we might find but he knew that and calmly said “everything’s going to be fine”, making light of things to calm us down. He always did that. As his illness tried to knock him down, that’s when I saw that strength again, just refusing to give up and just carrying on without fuss.
Dad loved a story, he had so many to tell whether it be his police days or his highland youth, and now I will have to keep his story going and in doing so keep his memory alive. He will always be with me, until we meet again.
Thank you.
 
Reading 
 
Our readings are both by Robert Burns - we hope Don would approve!  
 
The Highland Welcome, Robert Burns.
When Death's dark stream I ferry o'er, 
A time that surely shall come; 
In Heaven itself I'll ask no more 
Than just a Highland welcome.
 
An Epitaph on my own friend, Robert Burns.
An honest man here lies at rest,
As e’er God with His image blest:
The friend of man, the friend of truth;
The friend of age, and guide of youth:
Few hearts like his, with virtue warm’d,
Few heads with knowledge so inform’d:
If there’s another world, he lives in bliss;
If there is none, he made the best of this.
 
Time for reflection 
 
In preparation for the committal, we will now have a couple of minutes of silence to allow you the opportunity to reflect upon your own memories of Don.  To accompany this, the family have prepared a visual tribute of their favourite moments accompanied by Annie’s Song by John Denver.
 
Family to place referee flags and cards on the coffin.
 
 
Committal 
 
If you are able, please stand for the committal.
 
We have now reached the time where we must say goodbye to Don’s mortal body before we commit it to the crematorial flames. 
 
Don, for all that you gave and all that you were, we send you to whatever lies beyond this mortal world with our love and gratitude.
 
If you feel comfortable doing so, please join me in reciting the words of the Lord’s prayer:
 
Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come; thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory, for ever and ever. Amen. 
 
Bow to coffin. 
Please be seated and take a moment for private thought or prayer while we listen to The Dark Island, played by Pipe Major Jim Motherwell.
 
 
Closing Words
Our ceremony is drawing to an end, and it will soon be time to return to everyday life.  Don leaves you with great memories - of trips to the Highlands and gatherings with family and friends - times of hospitality and of celebration. These memories are his legacy and are yours to treasure. 
We opened by saying Don was a larger-than-lifepresence, so the poem ‘Giant’, by Donna Ashworth, is perhaps a fitting way to close:
 
Giant by Donna Ashworth
 
You were so giant in this life
As though you were the galaxy
And everyone else the stars.
 
You were so full
Of life
In this life
 
That in death
You are the same
Giant.
 
And the hole you have left
Is giant too. 
 
Following this service, the family warmly invite you to join them at The Shamrock Club on The Ridgeway in Welwyn Garden City.
 
Go in peace, and thank you for being here today.
 
Music to exit:  Scotland the Brave, The Band of the Gordan Highlanders